_{DIFFERENT KINDS OF GRIEF}

Today I had a message from an old ‘friend’ telling me of the loss of a job she loved. One of my readers on my Cassie Harte Facebook. She was apologising for being so down, so low and it got me to think.

Grieving can be for so many things. Death, loss of a person or pet you loved, any kind of loss in fact. I have had to come to accepting that sometimes as I have told so many of my clients, grieving is a part of life and sometimes it will go on forever for you.

I have been quite ill by this emotion. Over the past 10 years, more so in the past 4 years, The loss of ponies, beloved dogs and cats. People in my life, family and friends.People I made friends with on here, Facebook.The loss of my belief in the sanctity of family.

But today, I realized that the loss that is affecting me most, is the loss of our way of life. When we lived in Wales, we had land, ponies, cats and dogs. Geese and ducks and much more wildlife that became part of how we lived. The badger through our cat flap for instance!

We were happy, happier than I would, as a child, ever have imagined I could have been. But I was. A wonderful husband in David, my amazing daughter and best friend Marie and all they both gave to me every single day. Life ‘on the farm’ was hard but oh so wonderful and full. I worked into my 70’s and loved my work but worries, courtesy of family, affected me and I had to stop work and concentrate on being ‘okay’.

As some of you know, family tried hard to destroy me and other things, in my personal life, began to make life hard and tarnished. The loss began. After losing all of our animals , the last few over a very short amount of time. We felt the ‘farm’ was not being used as it should have been and was too much for us alone. So we made the biggest mistake of our lives. We moved back ‘home’. Not realising that we were already there. Home I mean.

But home is not Hampshire, where family have turned their backs on us. Home is where we have spent the major part of our lives together. Home is Wales and we are hoping to go back there to see our final years out together with family who love us.

So today, I just wanted to write this down, part of my healing and let people know. Don’t think grief is for the bereaved alone. Grief can be for anything. In my/our case, it is for the life we had, loved and lost and everything we had for 25 years. That’s our grief.

Thank you for reading. xx

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