This past week has shown me that talking, especially about the ‘stuff’ we don’t want to talk about, is so important and so fulfilling. Last week I was able to meet up and talk to a great friend, someone who played a very big part in my life for many years. Someone I had lost touch with. It was scary, then exciting and afterwards, informative and uplifting. But I was not able to talk about the reason we had become distant, lost touch. That leaves me sad but I will accept that it is a very rare occasion for me and one, where not talking about things, is the right thing to do to protect someone you love. x
We sometimes think it best, to pretend things didn’t happen, avoid the subjects that caused us pain but I have never been one to do that. Talking things through can avoid the pain for people, of not knowing ‘why’. Not knowing if they had done something that had caused the hurt and take away the worry that they may repeat whatever that was.
I have been able , in the past few days, to face some past hurts and heartbreaks and try and make sense, of how I found myself in a particular position, with someone so very dear to me. No, maybe I didn’t get answers, maybe I still don’t understand, but at least now, I understand, that the other person accepts their part in what happened as do I,no blame apportioned and that reassured me, that nothing like that will happen again. The important thing is that we talked about everything, all our own upsets, our own issues caused and each other’s regrets and love. I hope, if necessary, the opportunity to continue talking about these times, will surface again.Talking things through, especially if either of you feel you may have hurt the other, is the least you can do for someone you care about. The decent thing to do, the respectful thing. Pretending or refusing to face what happened can only cause more hurt, more pain.
So all in all, this past week has been a good one in certain ways.
Sadly, too many times in life, we fall out with relatives, friends and never really understand why. Life is very short, if we upset someone we should always try and make things right. Never leave a relationship, friendship, anything, without explaining why you are going. Why things haven’t worked out. Question, if you don’t know why, ask what you have done wrong if anything. Try and make the person involved feel either validated or at least understood.
If you have a disagreement, try and make it right, try and at least leave on a good note. Don’t just close the person out as though nothing had happened and then disappear from their lives. That is cruel, disrespectful and so wrong.You never know, it might be the last time you have the chance to do this.
As some of you know, I had a very volatile relationship with my eldest daughter, on and off over the years, since she became a teenager, we have fallen out many times. As a little girl we were very close but as she grew she changed.She would never stop and answer questions, if she didn’t like them, would never try and make things right, try and talk things through. Would always just shout nasty things, then block me and shut me out, leaving me no way of explaining or finding out what she had been upset about, or talking about what she had done to upset and hurt me. Running away was something she always chose over talking about things. Trying to make it right. This makes me sad. So many times things could have been sorted but people like her will not face up to having done anything that was not right, to anyone else.Sadly she has done this over and over, to friends and partners for many years. How are things going to be put right if people always behave in this way.
If we hurt someone, I like to think in my case, it was never intentional but it happens, the least we can do is talk. Try and see things from the other person’s perspective. Try and explain.Try and put it right.
I have lost 2 close friends and a close relative in the past few weeks, all died younger than me. So to me, making up, putting things right, rebuilding the broken relationships in my life is important, before it’s too late.
Think on everyone, if things are not right, talk. If you have upset someone, Talk. If they have upset you…..TALK! Together, make sense of things, make the situation better for everyone concerned. No one ever died from talking things through. But often they have, by running away.
Thank you for reading. x
https://www.facebook.com/d8a8ad43-2587-453f-85a7-81d480d41cda
Edit
Add Photos/Videos
carolannwright 