I am not blogging today, this is just a little thing I wanted to say in the blog earlier this week. You all know how my blogging journey began and most have followed it through all the horrid things that have happened to us, to me in the past 6 years. You have listened, commented and shared my words and for that I am so grateful. Some of you have said my blog resonates with your own life, that some of the things that I wrote about, you understood as they had happened to you. Not the family stuff but the doubts, the fears and sadness that accompany us on the journey with Prostate Cancer, that was a big part of my story on here. Many ladies wrote and shared their own journey, in private messages and emails and I want to Thankyou all. There is nothing worse for a writer than to spend time putting their thoughts down on paper and have no response. I am glad that most weeks I receive many pm’s etc.
Some of you have recently read my life story, my first book and I Thankyou for comments made on Amazon, Kobo etc. I hope it helped you understand some of the things I wrote each week on here. Helped you see the little girl behind the woman, especially when struggling my way through the PC journey. Yes I made mistakes, I shouted, raved, cried and screamed. I hope it helped you understand my need for honesty, my need for belonging and my need to share. I hope so. The journey we all travelled or are travelling, is a hard bitter and sometimes brutal journey and those still travelling have all my love and thoughts. It can also be a very lonely journey as it was for me and without support from my readers and Facebook group members I would not have pulled through as strong as I am. You will make it, not always the best outcome but you will get through.
Since 2016 I have made hundreds of FB friends and friends on other social media sites and although we have never met, or most of them I haven’t met, I still class you all as friends. Where would I have been if I hadn’t been able to come on here, in my study and pour my heart out to you all. You read, heard my pain, my worry and fear and expressed your likes, love, smiles and comments, taking time to write to me.Thankyou.
I have read other blogs on here, Dan Cole and Mark Bradford particularly and they will always have place in my heart. Sadly we lost Mark and yes, like you all, I miss him so much.
This year has brought sadness beyond compare ‘here on the farm’. Tony my big bear of a brother sadly died in January. David’s sister Sheila died in the Spring. The man who asked me to call him Dad, died late Summer. So much missing this year. My family in Hampshire will have another Christmas without me but I hope it is a good one, especially for my daughter Lisa and my grandsons Harrison and Jordan and grand-daughter Hannah. I hope Lisa carries on the traditions I gave her, stockings, full of silly things, mince-pie for Santa and a drink for his reindeer. I hope they think of us here but it doesn’t matter if they don’t, I will say a silent Happy Christmas to them all. I tried to mak eit right an dfailed. I can do no more. Life is too short. Hurt and pain have no place at my table anymore. I will make sure of that.
So I am writing to say Thankyou to you all and hope the run up to the ‘big day’ is exciting but smooth. Happy and Peaceful and that you all love those around you and tell them so.
Thankyou for reading. x
carolannwright 