This blog is not prostate related but have continued to share for those who asked to keep reading my blog.
Yesterday evening I watched the Remembrance concert on the television, as I do every year. This year it was even more moving than other years and seemed more poignant. I suppose that is because it is the 100th anniversary of the end of the First World War and the commemoration of the second and also included all the conflicts in between and those still current. It also seems more powerful this year, as the two men in my life, for all of my life, my ‘Dad’ William who brought me up and may big bear, my brother Tony were both serving Royal Marines. Dad in the 2nd War and Tony in Borneo and Aden and other conflicts. They both survived conflict and neither spoke much about their time as Royals and I know for Dad, although he didn’t say very much, whenever anything about the war, Remembrance Sunday, the playing of the Last Post, every time I was in his company when these things occurred, I could see the tears. Tony never spoke much of his time fighting but at times when we were alone, he did confide horrible things that still played on his mind. The Royal Marines meant a great deal to both of them. They are sadly both gone now, although I still struggle with accepting that I will never see my brother again as it was only this year that he died.
The 11th November signals the day before my birthday. A day dreaded as a little girl, enjoyed and loved as a young Mum when my daughters would spoil me and a day when ever since meeting my beloved husband David, has been very special. I had hoped this year would see my family, my children and grandchildren back in my life but that is not going to happen. But I will still look forward to tomorrow, a happy day to come after all the sad memories of today. I usually go out with David and Marie but don’t want to be away from my little dogs this year. So we are having a duvet day, lots of popcorn and goodies and watching all the DVD’s bought for me over the past few years that I have yet to watch. Followed by a Chinese take away. I am looking forward to my ‘special day’, this year.
Back to the present. Watching all the Remembrance and Armistice day commemorations and parades, I am proud to be British. We do these things so well. It is a day to remember all those who made the greatest sacrifice of all, laid down their lives for their country. For their families. For us. It is an opportunity to show respect for those who died, those who served and those still serving.
Social Media has enabled us to see how others have marked this important day in history. I have been so proud to see how my home towns especially have taken this time to honour those who lived there and those who died. Portsmouth, Gosport and Monmouth especially. Well done to you all.
The need to remember begins with respect, Respecting all those who have enabled us to have the lives we are living. To those who are no longer with us and those who returned from any conflict damaged and not the same as when they left. For some of those, even in recent times, the suffering continued. It didn’t end with the end of the conflicts. They are the ones we need to keep in our minds. Not just today but always.
If this or any war had begun in today’s society I like to think we would behave the same but I am not sure that we would. One thing I find that is lacking in today’s world is respect. We live in a throw away society and that includes throwing aside family, friends, belongings and morals. This might upset some reading this but it is as always, my perspective of how I see the world. We live in a throw away society, we don’t repair things, we buy new. We don’t always hand things down, we buy new and discard . We don’t strive to make right arguments, disagreements within our families and circles of friends, we all too easily just move on and forget them. Not trying to make things right. Discarding relatives and friends like we discard belongings. Very sad and oh so wrong. What are we teaching those coming after us? How will they cope in a world with such little values. Of course this is not everyone but it is how I see the world outside. If people pre and post both wars had done this, where would we be today. But they didn’t. No, they stood together, made as much of everything that they could. Make do and mend my Nan used to say.
Post both wars but especially when as a child, we were recovering from the second world war, little things were appreciated. I saw bombed sites in Portsmouth, when taken to see my aunt. They terrified me even then and I would not want to see anything like this again. This is I think, what brought it all home to us, as kids, seeing the bombed out houses, tattered wallpaper open to the elements where people used to live. Shocking for anyone to see,but must have been horrendous to have been present during those war-torn days. Those bombsites were once someone’s home. Back then we had learned to share, go without. Rationing was still in when I was very young and that made us very careful and appreciative of the little things. If we needed anything, right up into my 20’s, we would save or not buy it. If we couldn’t afford it, we would go without. Then these things were treasured as they had been hard to come by. We respected everything we had. Respected our elders. Respected the law and the church. I think that is what is missing now. Maybe the reason we, who have known people who lived through the 2nd war, heard the horror stories, saw the damage done by bombs etc. We, who saw our parents pain and how valuable ‘having things’ was. Maybe that is where we found respect. Respect for people, respect for property and respect for life itself. We didn’t see vandalism, graffiti, although I have to say at this point, some graffiti can actually enhance a place, but we didn’t see any back then. We showed this respect to our elders, our parents, our families and for other people’s property. I see very little of that in today’s world. Maybe today and in the future, remembering the sacrifices made by those lost in the wars, might bring a little of it back. I hope so.
Part of the commemorations shown on tv, I saw a reporter talking to a little boy about why his street was decorated with poppies and such. He said that a man who had lived in his house, had died as a young soldier, in the first War and this little boy said he was proud to now live there. That he was proud of the man dying so that he could live the life he has today. What a kind child. What a wise child. That is where we need to start. I brought my children up to show respect and it is up to them if they do. But if we teach the children today ,yes show them how hard it was in the trenches, how horrible the reality of war is, not by allowing them to play games on a screen that show killing, bombing etc. But that in reality real people are killed. Real families are torn apart and war is never worth the losses. No one wins a war. I don’t mean scare them but have them understand, the way I saw on the television, by story telling, pictures of real war scenes, not glamourised as they sometimes are in films and games. Do this in the safety of their homes or schools, maybe then,they, the next generation, will do all they can to love their fellow-man, to respect other people and their belongings and fight every day for peace. Preventing war ever again. People of my age, born post war, are the only people left now to tell others how it was. Through our family stories from those who witnessed it all. Let’s not let the memories die, let’s not let the horrors our men and women faced in any conflict have been in vain. If we do who is to say another World war might not happen.
In todays parade it was good to see the ‘people’s’ parade’. Not soldiers, airmen or marines but those people who had long gone relatives who had died in one of the wars and other conflicts, for their country. Some talked of men coming home with what was called back then, ‘shell shock’, today it is often referred to as PTSD, a recognized legacy of trauma. We value their service and I hope, help them to recovery. World war 2, these men were ignored and treated very badly. A group has now been formed to remember all those ‘shot at dawn’. There were many soldiers in both wars who couldn’t cope with the horrible conditions, the killing and their fate was often to be court martialed, labeled as deserters and ‘shot at dawn’. Just doesn’t bear thinking about does it. I would think most men in the trenches wanted to run at some time or other. Those that did, well the new group says it all. The soldiers who did this were classed as deserters and have only in recent years been pardoned.
I can remember in Gosport as a child, seeing a man walking through the streets, talking to himself. He was scruffy, scared looking and lost. I found later that he had been a soldier and had been badly affected by the horrors of war. These are the people we need to look out for and look after. Not all wounds are visible. Our men and women didn’t die so that we could struggle.They didn’t die so that we could hurt each other. Kill each other. They didn’t give their lives so that we could squabble and fight over futile things, or for us to treat people with little or no respect and show little empathy for our fellow-man. They died for Peace, love and respect. The allusive respect that sadly, I believe is gone.
We need to keep remembering in order to maintain this peace they fought for. We have one world. We are of one family, the family of mankind. I know it sounds like preaching but it is something I feel so strongly about. William, the man who brought me up, could have so easily died as many of his comrades did and I feel they would not like the way our world is going. If we forget the past conflicts, the World wars, then the horrors will fade, the memories no longer be around and then who knows. Maybe World war 3 could happen and no one wants that do they. We should all strive to prevent that and begin this by showing and sharing respect, beginning at home, beginning with family. Let’s hope today marks the end of the making of wars, like the ones we have endured, but not the end of remembering the sacrifices.
Many years ago, the singer Harry Secombe, sang ‘If I ruled the world’. Well if I ruled the world, war would be outlawed.I would command love, respect and loyalty. But they are things that can’t be commanded or even earned until the world as a whole sees their value. Everyone no matter who they are, needs love and should have respect and loyalty. In the end we are all the same, we all end up the same, in our ultimate death, there are no divisions, so whilst we are here, we should care and love each other on this journey of life, right through to when our time is up. No-one better than anyone else, the world should belong to everyone, Utopia I know and can’t happen but what a lovely idea to dream about.
Thankyou for reading. x
carolannwright 