Years ago, cancer , the big ‘C’ was almost always a death sentence. A terminal illness. Not many survived. We have come a long way in the past few years, especially in researching and curing this horrible disease. Statistics on survival are the best ever and getting better every single day. Yes sometimes it still takes loved ones from us but most times with the help of medicine, belief and positivity, sufferers can become survivors. Not an easy journey but one that can be travelled, in a much better way, than in the past and the destination now is very often, arriving cured.
The definition of this horrid disease that creeps up on us in secret, sometimes hitting us when it is advanced and done damage, is this:
‘an evil or destructive practice or phenomenon that is hard to contain or eradicate ‘ and ‘any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively; blight’
So it amazes me that when we tell some people who our partners, husbands boyfriends, have Prostate cancer, the statement that is given back to us, very often is; ‘Oh well, that’s a good cancer.’
Like, ‘that’s okay then, it’s only prostate cancer, the good cancer’!
Good is something you might like, that might improve your life, that in the very least you wouldn’t mind having!
Good is ‘okay’. Good is’ pleasant’. Good is something to be happy about. Good, in this context is, that it isn’t important. Nothing to worry about!
No-one wants Prostate cancer or any other cancer. No-one’s life is improved by cancer. Every sufferer and their families, ‘mind very much’. Prostate cancer isn’t ‘okay’, it is important and is something we spend our whole lives worrying about.
Prostate cancer is not a ‘good cancer’. I know, that what some mean, is that most men can be cured or managed. That more men die with it than of it.I also know that the people who utter these niceties, are trying to be encouraging, to be kind, to be uplifting. But sorry, saying prostate cancer is a ‘good ‘ cancer is doing none of these to the listener. It belittles the hugeness of this illness. It belittles the devastating effect it has on family friends and sufferers. Nothing good about any of it!
Like all cancers, PC can be happening with no one having a clue of its existence. We are going about our lives and unless our man has problems, has reason to be worried about his body, his health, it has free access and the ability to rage through his body as it seems fit and no-one has any hint that its there! It is parasitic. It is cruel. It is demoralizing. It is everything the opposite of good. It is BAD through and through.
What cancer does, is takes on the role of dictator. It governs what we do. Where we go and what we say. It controls our life, makes us helpless to a point. Gives us huge sadness and anger that I for one, didn’t think possible. Messes with your head and your emotions. Changes you and not for the better. All of this especially in the early stages. How is any of that ‘good’?
The other thing that happens is this. During the treatment stages, everything that happens is affected by the way your life has changed. Life goes on, sometimes as ‘normal’ but sometimes still throwing rubbish at you with no account for your inability to cope with anymore. You then are controlled by the way this disease has made you, made your thoughts, your every waking hour affect everything in your life. Every waking hour and in your dreams. Things that might normally not have impacted on your life, suddenly become out of proportion. You break a cup and burst into tears. It was only a cup but in this cancer fog it becomes huge, devastating loss. Life’s little things, life’s usually mundane things that happen in everyone’s life can become huge unmanageable incidents and you feel lost all over again.
The ‘joys’ of prostate cancer are immense and affect partners, especially emotionally, sometimes more than the sufferer. This disease, as with most serious illnesses, spreads it around and shares the pain.
So, Prostate cancer is anything but the ‘good’ cancer believe me.
But having said all of this, it can be cured or managed as I have said and we will keep fighting it with our husbands, our men for as long as it takes. We are in this together, so cancer be warned. Angry women are a force to be reckoned with. We don’t give up easily. You want a fight, you have one?.
It cannot kill our love or our fight! We are the GOOD. Not any kind of cancer.
So if someone tells you that their husband or partner has prostate cancer, think again before you reply. If you don’t know what to say, say nothing. That is always better than ‘oh, that’s a good cancer though’.
Last weeks’ blog, Baby Loss was not part of this Journey but Thankyou to everyone who wrote to me and or shared my blog.
Thankyou for reading. x
Sorry about the text and any spelling errors, computer playing up. x
carolannwright 